Tuesday, August 26, 2008


No. That isn't a typo. WTFT=What the French Toast. The rated G version of WTF.
My patience finally paid off! I bought a bike. Courtesy of Al's Sporting Goods Labor day sale.
It's a Trek. 21 speed. 16 more speeds than I need. Comfort/cruiser. Big butt seat. Upright riding. Pink. Pearly pink. No, I wasn't planning on buying a pink bike. But it was irresistibly cute!!! Very girly. I got a very girly helmet to go with it. With flowers. I'm sure I look like a TOTAL dork on it. But guess what? I don't care! It's so much fun. And effortless. And it was a good deal. I think. Retailed at $480 on sale for $295 plus tax. So if you see me riding around Cache Valley, please try not to run me over. And if you honk, I'll wave. If I'm not beefing it...

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Farewell cleavage-the following may not be suitable reading for minors

Some of you have come to appreciate my tatas as much as I have. I'm not bragging. Getting old sucks and I have very few assets left to hang onto. I know they aren't Pamela Anderson great, but I can proudly say they are fairly perky and Au Natural.
See, growing up I was very athletic and some what of a late bloomer. Even when I finally did develop a chest, in like 11th grade, I was a B-cup until I got married and had kids. Then all of a sudden out of nowhere-BOOM! BLAM! There they were in all their D-cup glory. Some of you (other than my husband) have seen them first hand. Up close and personal. (Thanks to too many shots of Yager at a party with a hot tub. If I haven't apologized enough for that, I'M VERY SORRY). Unfortunately, I'm afraid it may be time to tell them good-bye. No. I'm not having breast reduction surgery or a double mastectomy. No offense to anyone who has. We women do what is necessary. They are being gradually reduced because I'm losing weight. Which by the way has been long overdue. And unfortunately, I lose from the top down. I'm doing my damnedest to make sure they don't go saggy. I will miss them. But I have to look at the big picture. Because I am sick and tired of looking at my big ass, big thighs and big waist any longer. FAREWELL CLEAVAGE! It's been a good run. Maybe if I save up enough money I'll get an "enhancement" later down the road. 'Til then... au revoir and adieu!

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Get ready!

So I made this agreement with my daughter. Since I don't blog very often, she is going to "guest blog" for me once in a while. I think it will be a great way for her to express herself though her poetry and art. She actually created her own blog back in March or so, posted 3 times, and forgot about it. I was going to create her a side blog of sorts, but well, let's face it. That's just too much damn work and thinking for little ol' me.
Anyway, I don't know how long it will last since school is starting soon, but I'm trying my best to stay in touch with my teenager (I was so kindly reprimanded that she is no longer a tweeny bopper as previously posted), and this will be one of my many efforts to bond.
side note: I know sometimes I make it sound horrible having a teen-age girl, but I really do love her. I'm sure some of you can relate. Maybe not. Most of you probably just thank your lucky stars or that all powerful Being, or whoever that you were blessed with only boys. I flip my middle finger in your general direction.
But seriously. We get along most of the time. At least better than I did with my mom I think. She's pretty comfortable with me. We talk. We are there for each other. She's quirky, smart, beautiful, talented, unique and somewhat of a geek. A complete intertwining product of her parents. So get ready. And thanks for your loving support in this experiment.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Back to School

THANK GOD. I am SO sick of whining kids "bored with nothing to do". How lucky they are!
Year round school is starting to sound good to me. I think I'm old enough and I've earned the right to say this. Back in my day, our parents didn't entertain us. We didn't expect them to! We knew better than to whine about being bored, because if we did, we would be put to work. We didn't have video games, computers or The Internet, yet we found things to do. We had bikes, skateboards, balls, bats, swimming pools and neighborhood friends. We were gone from the time we woke up and had breakfast until it got dark and our parents were yelling or whistling for us to come home. Ironically, we weren't obese either. Coincidence? I think not. Our kids are spoiled. I'm guilty. I have half a mind to cancel cable TV, DSL and sell our gaming units. The other half of my mind remembers that there is not a lot to do in the winter here. I'm sure somehow we would survive. And probably be better off. So I'll get my cane now and get off my soapbox.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Summer Music

I was tagged by Jess, my BFF over at to do this. Most of my 2008 summer music came from TV instead of the radio, as I faithfully watch one of my all time favorite shows "So You Think You Can Dance" herein referred to as SYTYCD. The songs they pick for Hip Hop ROCK! So, if it was used on SYTYCD, I listed the Youtube video address...sorry I haven't figured out how to embed is my top 7

- "The Garden" by Mirah
I first heard this song on SYTYCD and it's currently my favorite. Maybe because the dancers made it SO frickin' hot.
- "I kissed a girl and I liked it" by Katey Perry
Because I have and I can relate. I was somewhat offended by this song when I first saw/heard it on late night with Jay Leno, but after listening to it a few times realized what a hypocrite I was being.
-"No Air" by Jordan Sparks/Chris Brown
Or is it Ayer? I thought this song was lame until used on SYTYCD. Twitch is awesome, but Joshua won. Rightfully so. America got it right.
- "Bleeding Love" by Leona Lewis
Again, didn't love the song until SYTYCD made an awesome visual for me. My 10 year old son would sing along in the car and always replace "Love" with "Blood". At least it rhymed. And to a ten year old boy, makes much more sense.
!WARNING! The following songs are catchy and WILL stick in your head for days. These are some of my faves just because they are fun to sing along with and gyrate to while driving. So if you see me cruising in my convertible looking like I'm having an epileptic fit, don't call 911 just yet. Listen for the loud music first. It's how I roll...
- "Shake it" by Metro Station
- "Damaged" by Danita Kane
- "American Boy" by Estelle featuring Kanye West
Honorable mentions:
- "In the Ayer" by Florida featuring
Because damn rhymes with jam, and I never knew there were so many words that rhymed with Ayer
- "Corona & Lime" by Shwayze
I predict this song will be in the top 10 soon, and my new drink at The Owl on Wednesday nights

Songs I change the channel when they come on the radio:
-"Lollipop" by Lil' Wayne
-"Love in this Club" by Usher/Ersher
-"Take a Bow" by Rihanna

And I'm not tagging anyone because I don't know anyone else to tag.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Cache County Fair

Three words for you. Hot. Boring. Expensive.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008


Many of you may already know about the Twilight series books by Stephanie Meyers. If you don't, well pull your head out of the friggin' sand already. Or wait. I'm sorry. Maybe you aren't as fortunate as I am to have a tweeny bopper, therefore making me "in the loop" of such literature out there. These books are pretty much Buffy the Vampire Slayer revisited in book form. Complete with vampires and werewolves. Except that Buffy/Bella is not a slayer, but a normal teenage girl trying to find her place in this world. She is somewhat of a damsel in distress who stumbles un-willingly across this whole other species doing their best to live amongst the normal folk. Even though the books are obviously geared towards tweeny bopper girls, I've read them. My husband has too. I'm planning to buy them and re-read them again. Only because I have to do something while I am impatiently waiting for my very own 13 year old tweeny bopper to finish the 4th book. If we ever get it. See, it was released last Friday at midnight, however, since we pre-ordered it from, we get to wait for it to be delivered whilst every one else has pretty much finished it. I'll never do that again. Sheez.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

I survived

Saturday was brutal. See previous post. Sunday's venture to Lagoon was fun and relaxing, but wore me out. The weather turned out fairly nice and we spent most of the time at Lagoona beach coasting around on tubes in the water. We did a few rides with the kids, stopped off for dinner on the way home, and finally got home about 11:30pm. I hobbled to work yesterday and hung in there the best I could. I came home and crashed. Thanks to my loving and thoughtful husband who didn't bother me about making dinner, ordered pizza instead. I can barely walk today, my throat is killing me, and I'm dizzier than hell. I am worse off today than I was yesterday! WTF? Maybe it just took a couple days to catch up with me. Just wanted you all to know I'm alive. Barely.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Oh the pain!

Today we played in a co-ed softball tournament sponsored by my husband's work (NDT) for some charity. I had been dreading this event all week, as a) I haven't played softball since last fall, b) I'm fat and out of shape, and c) it was predicted to be over 100 degrees today. We were required to play a minimum of 2 games. I had resigned to this. I could suffer through 2 games. We would be done by 11am. Unfortunately, we won the first game which set us up to play two MORE games. Yay. We ended up losing the next two and playing in the hot sweltering sun until well after noon. I overheated. We went to lunch as a team. We then came home, turned on the AC and died. I woke up from my carb induced, exhausted body coma with a migraine. Tomorrow we are planned to go to Lagoon for the day. I'm excited cause I really want/need to see our friends whom we are meeting there. I'm not excited because we are spending a second hot weekend day in the sun. In the words of Danny Glover, "I'm getting too old for this shit Riggs".