Thursday, March 26, 2009


As a lot of you know I don't cook much.
It's not just because I'm lazy.
I don't even particularly like fast food.
Other than it's convenience.
It's not that I don't enjoy cooking either. Because I do.
I have become especially creative inventing my own concoctions
using random ingredients I have on hand.
I prefer to have a recipe, but often stray from it. Make it my own.
I'm rebellious that way. There is ALWAYS room for improvement.
It's not like I'm expecting to be a contestant on
"The Real Chefs of Cache County" or anything.
*side note: I no longer watch reality shows.
I tried watching "Hell's Kitchen" once and almost had a full blown anxiety attack.
If I was home during the day I would watch the Food Network.
Or Rachel Ray. She's HAWT.*
What it boils down to (no pun intended) is that I DO NOT enjoy
cleaning up after cooking.
Until recently.
I can't remember the last time I've owned new cookware.
Maybe when I got married. That was 18 years ago.
About 10 years ago a friend gave me her hand-me-down set
that was still in great shape. Glass lids and all.
Since then I've bought random replacement pots and pans here and there
as the Teflon started wearing off the old ones.
Not great cookware. Just "get me by" cookware.
*side note: I'm pretty sure my family has SOME amount of Teflon poisoning by now.
I'm dreading that will come back and bite us in the ass.*
Anyhoo. I recently made an impulse purchase. I bought REAL cookware.
We were shopping at Sam's Club perusing for bargains in their markdown section
and there was a fresh pallet of mark downed items.
This is where I met my new BFF. You may have heard fo her. Her name is Paula Dean.
She understands me. My needs. She has really touched my life.
Maybe even saved our lives.
The set I bought is 12 pieces. It came with a square griddle-type skillet
and glass lids for all the pots and other skillets.
All for under $100. It's heavy. It's durable. It's NICE.
The nicest I've ever had.
I actually look forward to cooking now. Now that I have someone to enjoy it with.
And nothing sticks to her. Like water off a ducks back.
Thank GOD for Paula Dean. Or at least her line of cookware.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

"a little early for top down weather..."

The following events are real.
Names have not been changed or withheld to protect anyone.
Some wording has been altered to protect innocent reader's mind.
I pick Dave up from work and we decide to go TV shopping.
ME: "Where should we go first?"
DAVE: "Sam's Club has the best prices on TV's."
ME: "But remember how Freddy Smith's had TV's on sale at
Christmastime? We should check there too."
DAVE: "That was Christmastime. They wont have them on sale now."
ME: *heavy sigh* "fine. I have other shopping to do at Sam's anyway."
After hours of deliberation, I'm tired and hungry.
We settle for the 47" JVC for under $1000. Reasonable deal.
We put the top down in the convertible and the TV in the back seat.
We drive home all the way across town in 15 degree weather.
Heater cranked. Looking like complete idiots.
We unload the TV. My fingers get smashed in the process.
ME: "Frickin' Frackin' Fruckin'..."
Dave chuckles. I give him stinkeye.
No time to set up the TV this night. New cables were needed.
I still had to feed and get the kids to bed.
We go to Freddy Smith's on our lunch hour to pick up the necessary
cables so we can set up the new TV later that night.
Low and behold. TV's were on sale.
I give Dave a much deserved "I told you so" look.
Dave sheepishly grins: "We should have shopped around".
I roll my eyes.
We purchase the 52" Samsung for $1199.00 and the needed cables.
Bigger TV. Better deal. This same TV was over $1800 at Sam's club.
We would return the JVC to Sam's after work.
At least we hadn't unpacked it yet.
We take the Samsung home.
Top down. TV in the back seat. Heater cranked.
Driving across town. Looking like complete idiots.
We unload the TV. Fingers get smashed. Cussing ensues.
Dave chuckles. He gets the stinkeye. Again.
We now have 3 big screen TV's in our living room.
The soon-to-be-replaced 10 year old Akai 54"
The soon-to-be-returned new JVC 47"
The keeper Samsung 52"
We return the JVC back to Sam's Club.
Top down. TV in the back seat. Heater cranked.
Across town. Like complete idiots.
Back at home we set up the Samsung and it starts making this
GOD AWFUL noise.
TV: "Snap, crackle, CrAcKlE, CRACKLE".
Dave and I consult the manual. Nothing. He muted the TV.
The sound continued. Dave calls Panasonic technical support.
No help whatsoever. Unacceptable. Too late to do anything tonight.
We pack up the Samsung and head back to Freddy Smith's to exchange it.
Top down. TV in back seat. Heater cranked. Across town. Complete idiots.
We exchange the TV with minimal problems from Smith's employees.
Some wise ass says to us in the parking lot:
"A little early for top down weather." DUH.
We head back home with the new Samsung.
Top down. TV in back seat. Heater cranked. IDIOTS.
TV unloaded. Fingers smashed. More cussing. Chuckles. Stinkeye.
ME: "This TV better work because I'm NOT taking this trip again!"
Dave: "Yes, dear".
The Behemoth 54" TV is donated to worthy friends.
I am relieved to have it out of my living room.
I got my bay window back. The flat screen is beautiful.
My fingers survived. The kids didn't have to hear me cuss.
I'm sure at least one Cache Valley resident saw us every single trip and thought:
"Do these people have nothing better to do than haul their TV around town?"
To those people I say: "Yes indeed. I do have better things to do.
And I will go now and enjoy my 52" of clear beautiful TV goodness."
Thanks as always for reading!