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Saturday, April 3, 2010

WHAT'S THIS?

Two posts in one month? Are you hallucinating?
Dave suggested one day that I Blog about
"The Ramblings of a Depressed MILF"
or something like that...
PBLLLT!
People have their own problems.
Why would they want to listen to mine?
No one wants to hear me whine.
Plus I'm pretty sure I'm only a MILF in HIS mind.
Then I remembered something very important.
Blogging isn't about you.
It's about me.
Blogging helps ME express myself through writing.
Lately I've been a mess.
See, I went to this shrink a few weeks ago because I
thought I was losing my mind.
Come to find out I was right.
You know that sign you see driving North on Main Street
that says; "You wouldn't tell a cancer patient to just
shake it off...Depression is real"?
They are talking about me.
Seems I'm not handling Dawson's newly diagnosed disease
as well as I thought I was. All I seem to have the energy to
do is sleep. Because when I sleep I'm NOT depressed.
See my dilemma?
It's not that I WANT to be depressed.
It's not that I WANT to sleep 12 hours a day.
I want to live.
I want to be a good mother.
I want to be a wonderful wife.
I want to savor every moment I have with my family.
I want to be a loyal employee.
I want to be a devoted friend.
I want purpose.
Hell, these days I'll settle for just functioning long
enough to take a shower and eat breakfast.
Is that asking too much?
Today was a good day.
I can't believe it's 1:30am and I've actually been awake
for over 15 hours straight now! Woot!
no. Double Woot!
Let's hope tomorrow brings more todays.

1 comments:

The Dave said...

I love my MILF :)